Watch what you say on twitter:

yeah it's 2 am and i'm reading about lil kim getting a recording deal i'm too upset to come up with a hilarious intro like usual. . .yeah yeah go ahead and be ungrateful act like i haven't givin you countless amounts of laughs with my other intro's in reality you should be paying me for my thoughts but it's ok you girls pay me every time you tweet me that you like my blog and we become boyfriend and girlfriend.

Look in 2011 you gotta absolutely watch what you say on twitter, people are out here losing fights,jobs,and relationships because of things they've tweeted ill share some of my stories with you because like most of you I tweet what i want I don't care but I have learned some things during my reckless tweeting.

ARE YOU @____: It was a wonderful day for me it was PROM DAY (read that like how blue and joe used to say "mail time" on blues clues and if you dont remember how they used to say it you are too young to be reading this blog vacate the premises immediately) but yea it was PROM DAY not mine of course but my cousin went to prom and scored me some after prom party tickets. . . .now after prom is A party high school students attend after their prom so I throw on my clothes and walk into the party with the utmost swag you couldn't tell me anything that day. . . So i'm in the party standing on a couch and this guy walks up to me and says "are you @nicknervies" i said "yea thats me wassup" he then said to me "you don't know who i am?" now remind you i'm in the party having a great time so it didn't hit me until i said yes that "oh crap I probably offended this guy on twitter 1 day". . . . .turns out dude just wanted to say he liked my tweets but for a split second I thought i was about to get 13 punches thrown at me smh that night made me realize "Nick you can not tweet disrespectful things to people."

you should never tweet anything disrespectful to someone who has their locations turned on while they tweet anybody who will let any and everybody on twitter know their exact location is crazy and will make a knife out of a soda can and cut you.

WHO'S @_______: Now look your girl doesn't love you unless she hit's you up asking about a girl you tweeted earlier in the day but it's always scary having your girl think you're cheating on her with some chick you tweet alot. . . . you definitely have to watch out best thing you can do when you're ask "who's @________ is to not even respond pretend you don't even know who @____ is. . . .but don't you dare say "calm down it's just twitter" MAN OH MAN your girl will put her hair in a bun, put on some sweat pants, and turn on some wacka flocka and she will hit you with the classic " if its just twitter block her". . . .now you have 2 choices you either gotta say "YO i'm not blocking nobody (dougie while you say it) or you gotta block the other chick wait til your girl goes to sleep then follow the girl again and tweet her saying "yo twitter is tripping follow me back" now this won't always work because there's a chance that she will go look at the people you are following and once she see's her at the top of your list it's over for you she'll break your xbox and your iphone smh.

I thought you were going to sleep: Man you know how many times iv'e told someone "yo ill call you tomorrow i'm going to sleep" but hung up and got straight on twitter yeah I just got caught with this non sense last night i had a full twitter conversation with the person i lied to and then she hit me with the "what happened to you going to sleep?. . . .yeah twitter can make your good day turn into a horrible day really quick.

welp i'm done for today B. . . i'm watching vh1 and in a matter of 3 second LALA ended up in her bra time to hit pause and rewind on the dvr but before i do all that. . . ladies understand you are not god and you don't play in the nfl therefore sunday is not your day don't interrupt your man during football sunday and if he doesn't mind you bothering him while football is on he's cheating on you thats a fact!

oh I know iv'e been saying this all week but guess what I don't care i'm gonna say it again October is the best month of this year NBA 2K12+IPHONE 5+TAKE CARE I'm gonna use my IPHONE5 to call chicks and sing take care lyrics to Demi lovato's voice mail.


@nicknervies AKA tricky combs

Signs She doesn't want you

First off i just wanna say if you have a box of pops cereal on top of your fridge or in your pantry stop what you are doing grab your computer mouse scroll over the red X and click it you don't deserve to read greatness. . . anybody who can wake up everyday walk to the kitchen and pour a bowl of pops cereal is crazier then ray J when he thought we were  gonna believe he had and i quote "6 rolls royce's outside right now" smh.

before i get to the actual topic at hand i'm just gonna let all you beautiful young ladies know if you write me on twitter and tell me you like my blog we're girlfriend and boyfriend afterwards.

Alright Look just like girls give us guys signals that they want us they also give us signs that we should just give up play some xbox and listen to "so far gone" by drake yes i myself  get hit with these curves it happens though even to the best of us if you run into any of the following lines she's not interested.

"aww you're so cute": ever been sitting down texting a girl Send shorty a compliment and all she replies with is a "aww you're so cute"  HUHHHHH?!?! Teddy bears are cute, Babies are cute man when this landed in my text inbox i turned off "welcome 2 the jungle" by jay-z and kanye west and paused the nfl game and marinated in my own sorrow the "aww you so cute" lines means 1 thing and 1 thing only she doesn't take you or anything you say serious. . . to her you are just a little kid with a crush on her regardless of your age.

"Why do you like me" when i heard this line i wanted to rent a helicpoter and sky dive through the roof of this chicks house if she liked you she wouldn't care why you liked her or not this line means she doesn't like but she'd like to hear you to send her a 3 paragraph text full of compliments.

I'm glad to have you as a friend: Ok this is the worst of them all i had this line thrown at me last night i was sitting here listen to "ocean gang splash" by soulja boy drinking some kool-aid had my snpaback turned backwards decided i was gonna let this chick know just how dope her twitter icon once. . .i jumped in her dm box and sent a outrageous amount of compliments and then it happened. . . .i saw that red icon pop up on my iphone saying "1 new DM" i just knew i was in there then i read the message "awww thank you nick your such a great friend" smh i almost logged onto tumblr after reading that crap. . .i got in my car drove to baskin robbins and sat in the parking lot eating my butter pecan ice cream and listening to "the weekend" smh.

ightt that's it for today but before i go i just gotta say. . . .its 2011 miley cyrus filed a restraining order on me,luke walton is still the nba,and burger king doesn't sell oreo cookie shakes anymore with all that being said there is no reason dudes should be tweeting about basketball wives while football is on.

OH and i knowwww Mark zuckerberg doesn't think he's escaping my slander anybody who likes the new facebook layout buys their cell phones from the gas station. 

@nicknervies

Signs she's cheating on you through twitter

Yeah i'm back again with another amazing blog you know yesterday somebody asked me why i started this blog and the answer to that is simple. . . .FEMALES duhhhh it is no secret that quickest way to a chicks heart is by making her laugh although this blog is geared towards males lets not be mistaken this was created with females in mind but enough of all of that time for greatness!

Twitter has become the match.com for teenagers B dudes log on everyday with the intentions of finding a new chick to tweet,follow, then hopefully DM by the end of the night and i know because i must admit I myself am one of those guys i wake up,thank god, then hop on twitter and go STRAIGHT to my "who to follow" section and follow the 3 cutest chicks i can find yep.

Now with that being said if you have a girlfriend her having a twitter can be very stressful and frightening but i'm here to help you realize if your girl is cheating on you through the wonderful walls of twitter.

"Now following": If A dude sends your girl a tweet saying "now following" and she retweets it and follows him you better schedule A emergency date fast and make her remember why she is yours before she starts looking for another team to switch too.

"The retweet" If your girl retweets a dude more then 3 times in the same day she want's him and she is indirectly letting him know that she is up for grabs that she is willing to pull a lebron james and take her talents elsewhere.

"simple tweets" Sometimes simple tweets will do it if you click on your girl profile and see the same twitter name 10 times in a hour span you need to follow dude to let him know "I see you tweeting my girl" 

"Check your dm": by this point you have lost her you just haven't been notified that you were drop yet we all know what goes on when it comes to twitter DM's i mean what is he saying to your girl that he can't say on a regular timeline? ill tell you what he's saying. . . he's copy and pasting drakes marvin room lyrics to your queen.

If your shorty is doing any of the above you need to grab her cell phone and delete her twitter quick fast and in a hurry.

OH YEAH small disclaimer: if a chick text you then sends you another text because you didn't respond fast enough she's psycho and has a chucky doll in her closet change your number and twitter bio asap well thats it for me until next week remember forward this all cute chicks on your facebook friend list.

@nicknervies 

Signs you need to report her as spam:

Alright i'm back for blog number 2 after the success of blog number 1 (by success i mean the outrageous amount of girls who told me they liked my blog" i've decided to make this a weekly event so every thursday ill be giving you my interesting views on life so with that being said let me turn "made men" by rick ross and drake up and dive head first into this blog.

Ever been sitting down scrolling down your wonderful timeline on twitter then come across a girl tweeting ashanti or keisha cole lyrics?,

How about shorty who has had the same twitter icon for 4 months?

and the worst one's of all chicks who constantly post their bbm pins/skypes.

All of these women need to be stopped A simple unfollow will not do it you have to and i repeat HAVE  to report these type of women as spam for the good of all twitter.

1. chicks who tweet ashanti/keisha cole lyrics are hurt,depressed, and unemotionally stable. . i came to the conclusion that ashanti made stalker anthems when i heard the lyrics "I couldn't breathe if he ever said he would//get on my knees until they are bloody red baby please" Ever since then i have run 500 feet away from any chick playing ashanti music these are the chicks most likely to sleep outside your house with cold pop tarts B"

2. Sigh. . .the chick who doesn't change her icon i've had to place a lot of girls in the spam vault for this very problem if i see the same icon for so long it makes me think that's the only cute picture of you that you own, we call these women "Right angle chicks"

3. Ok if you choose to let to first 2 signs slide by you its cool but you ABSOLUTELY have to report any chick you see with a bbm pin/skype name anywhere near her profile. . . No beautiful chick is gonna just hand her bbm/skype to any and every dude in the twitter world,celebrities don't give out their phone numbers why? because alot of people want to talk to them same applies too females,

I am willing to bet any amount of money that the chick in the icon isn't really her she in fact might be a he who is a linebacker for USC.

Well that's all i can give you well for free anyway I seriously hope you dudes take my advice and start blocking all chicks who engage in any of the 3 acts i just described.

OH before i go remember dudes with mohawks in 2011 don't care about life and will run you over with a battery operated escalade from toys r us smh.

@nicknervies

I'd date you if you were old enough

Well this is my first Blog surely wont be my last see i value my follower count and a sure fire way to see that number disappear is spamming timelines and what i have to say is gonna take a lot more then 140 characters.

I'm on blog spot simply because i refuse to walk through those deadly gates of the depressing world of tumblr smh i cant do it B. . . but enough of the intro let me get to the point of this blog.

The "I'd date you if you were older" line has been haunting dudes under 18 all across world there is nothing like talking to the chick you've been sending outrageous amounts of thirst too then having her tell you she would date you if you were older.

The fact that your age cant be changed tells you one thing. . . .you will NEVER date her B this line will have you hating your birthday every year it will have you sitting at your kitchen table at 3 am eating pops cereal with a magic eraser trying to change the date on your birth certificate. . . it will have you asking your mom and dad to re calculate the day you were conceived.

there are some dudes out there who take this line out of context simply thinking "she said she would date me if i was older which means she likes me just not my age" . . . .naaa fam if she really liked you she would grab a phone book and memorize the number to 8 lawyers for when she gets arrested for those dating a minor charges B.


well thats enough of "things i cant say on twitter" surely won't be the last


@nicknervies